Boy oh boy, nothing compares to the thrill of putting your own music online. Yesterday Aaron and I put our first co-written and preformed single, Should I, up for everyone to listen to. I laughed later in the day that Should I is our first born music baby. But honestly that doesn’t feel far off. There is a huge amount of excitement mixed with anxiety that rises in my chest when I think of our journey to release this first song.
"Should I' is a deeply personal song to Aaron and I. Aaron lives with complex PTSD as a result of deep childhood trauma, I deal with extreme anxiety and panic attacks. Imagine how sharing these truths about overselves while dating went! It seems now like that was the easy part. "Should I" is all the feelings we seem to roll through every time one of us has to share the hard parts, the memories or triggers that burn into our hearts and scar our minds. It’s the feeling of realizing that our love is a safe space, a place of trust, devotion, and true caring. Yet the fear or rather the anxiety always make us ask, “Should I?”